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[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] the danger has blown over. I don t like to do that, because it can be risky. I think maybe we should just leave her alone now. Baako ignored them as they stepped back out and closed the partition. Claudi went back over to Lopo, who had curled up in the corner of his enclosure and gone to sleep. She stared at him for a time, aware of Sheki beside her, and Joe. She turned her eyes up to Joe, pleading silently for some understanding of what was happening. All she got was an uncertain shrug. Guess we should go, she said to Sheki. Sheki looked at her soberly and nodded his agreement. That night Claudi dreamed again, for the first time in days. She dreamed of Throgs, and of Page 145 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html Suze. They didn t appear together, not at first anyway, and this time when she dreamed of the Throgs it was without that terrible icy-cold gripping fear. They floated toward her out of the deep darknesses of space. She watched them come with a feeling that if they reached her she would respond by turning the darkness into a blazing sun first red, then dazzling white, then a blackness deeper than any darkness that the Throgs could create. She wasn t sure if she would destroy them by this action, or change them somehow. She only knew it would make her safe. She woke up, panting for breath. At first she wanted to cry, remembering only that she had been dreaming of the Throgs; then she remembered that she d not been frightened. And then another part of the dream came back to her: Suze, floating in the darkness, her hair streaming in the cosmic winds as though she were underwater. Suze was calling to her in the emptiness of space, calling her name, calling calling calling & and she, Claudi, didn t answer, but gave a little smile instead because she knew that she was safe & there was no danger & And she remembered this, lying in the darkness in her bunk, hearing only the whisper of the air circulator and, deep down, the vibrating thrum of the ship s own life. And she began suddenly to shiver with fear and cold, and she began to cry. She wept hot and bitter tears, crying out to Suze that she was sorry, she hadn t known! And she shook under her thin blanket, as if chilled by a harsh, wet wind. And after a time, it all began to blur; and she wasn t even aware at first of the warm sun that dried out the wet wind and took away the chill. But she heard chimelike voices answering her, in songs, as she cried out to Suze. And then she was only aware of her mother calling to her out of the darkness, and then sitting on the edge of her bunk and holding her, holding her, soothing and quieting and holding her. | Go to Contents | Chapter 26 I suppose I should have explained this earlier. You might be wondering why the teachers placed so much emphasis on helping the kids to deal with the loss of Suze, when what they really had to worry about was the Throgs. And why the use of a counseling program that hadn t been upgraded in about a hundred years? Well & I could tell you that it was for the emotional health of the kids, and that would certainly be true but only a part of the truth. The wall-shrink, however clumsily, did push the kids into expressing a lot of grief that could have interfered with their ongoing life more specifically, with dealing with the Throgs. I had a particular feeling about that, and I persuaded the teaching programs that it was important. Mr. Zizmer was reluctant to take on the task himself. He was an excellent teaching personality and a tribute to his species, but he just didn t have the heuristic experience needed to handle this sort of emergency. We both knew that the counselor was an outdated program, but at least it was designed for the kind of problem we faced. It was important to me that the kids deal quickly with their pain and anger and most especially that Claudi deal with hers. I had a suspicion about what Claudi might have to do, and if I was right, it would be vital that she not be filled up with anger and bitterness and self-recrimination. Don t ask me how I knew that. I just did. And I knew that Claudi had more learning to do, and perhaps little time in which to do it. And some of that learning was bound to be painful. Page 146 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html The classroom sims were getting harder. Claudi heard, dimly, a babble of voices in her head. She saw flashing lights, dazzling lights, explosions. She d already been hit, her floater shattered. In a leaking spacebubble, she floated high over the asteroid colony where her friends tried desperately to defend themselves from the enemy warships. (Whose? Throgs? Unknown.) Their only weapon, a mining laser, had been knocked out. The only hope now was to last until the enemy moved on. It hadn t been much of a battle. They d gotten off one shot with the laser before the enemy ships had clobbered them. And Claudi, caught outside, had been hit almost immediately. And now she waited, helpless, hoping that someone knew she was still alive, hoping that someone could save her. It wasn t fair! It wasn t a fair fight ! She wanted to scream out to the teacher, to demand that she be given another chance that they all be given another chance. But something held her back: a voice that said, this is the only chance you will have. It is now or never . And she swallowed, bursting with fear and frustration but afraid to let it loose, because even more than dying in the sim, she was afraid of not doing it right. Can anyone hear me? she called out plaintively, in the hollow of her spacebubble. She couldn t even tell if her voice was reaching farther than the thin enclosure that surrounded her. But she could hear scratchy voices: can t go out together you ll get killed but we have to save she s floating away quickly you could die but don t you see, we have to The babble was getting louder, but somehow more confusing, the voices more urgent. Were they talking about her? Were they coming out to get her? Flash ! Light and molten rock sprayed up near the bunker. Another enemy hit. I m going wait now! She saw a spurt of light, way down there on the asteroid, and felt a queasy, [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |